Who is Rey?


Many have asked for my speculation on who Rey is and theories on her family lineage. I spent a whole 10 minutes contemplating the possibility that she is Luke’s illegitimate child, Ben’s, somehow, grandchild(parents unknown) or a natural phenomenon in the force recreating balance.

Here is my actual theory.

Guys, I just don’t care who she is or where she came from right now. I’m just excited for the dramatic reveal in the movie. One day, all you nerds will get the truth and then you can finally sleep at night. So everyone stop asking me who she is, cause I don’t care and neither should you.

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Demolition

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Overall Score: 100%

Best part of the movie: The script was genius, Jake was perfect (I want to be on him), the story was so relatable and real, and there were 0 cliches. Pure perfection. A true testament of great writing and originality. Well done.

Worst part of the movie: Isn’t Jake Gyllenhaal supposed to come out of the screen and stroke my hair or something? That didn’t happen, soooo…. Yea. Pretty sucky.

Have you ever gone through life completely disconnected? It’s almost like you want to care about certain things but you just can’t. Jake Gyllenhaal’s subtle acting perfectly embodied what it is to be numb. When you think the story was going to go one way, comic relief saved it from an overused cliche that often ruins movies. See this. NOW NOW NOW!!

BATMAN v SUPERMAN:Dawn of Justice

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****THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS****

Overall Score: 91 %

Best part of the movie: 1. Great acting 2. Engaging plot 3. Very believably creepy villain 4. Very effective tie ins from other Batman and Superman stories. (These were a bit low key at times, but if you could pick them out, they were extremely nostalgic and funny)

Worst part of the movie: During the developing relationship of Batman, Superman and Luther, I got bit bored. I think I zoned out a few times and I was really nervous other people could hear me chewing my popcorn. Usually, if I do this during a movie, that part lacked “move magic.”

Okay, this movie was COOL. It really captured a humanistic approach to super heros that I’ve never seen before. I have never felt like a movie focused on the vulnerabilities of Batman or Superman; touched on them, yes. However, in this case, they seemed real. I felt a real connection to something that was merely a comic that was meant to entertain. See this!

Parental guide: I would say if your child likes action, see it. There is a bathtub scene where Lewis is naaaaakkkeeeed; although it doesn’t show anything, boobies are heavily implied. I would take my 13 year old to see it. Anything younger might be iffy.

 

 

 

 

Allegiant 


Overall score: ok, usually I don’t agree with rotton tomatoes, but I’m going to have to support their solid 9%.

Best part of the movie: All the meant to be serious parts that were actually pretty funny.

Worst part of the movie: All the meant to be serious parts…First off, did they just completely change the entire crew?! Divergent and Insurgent were a bit teen cheese, but not this bad. I still enjoyed them. But this was a heinous crime against film making! Bad camera angles+cliche after cliche+terrible script+horrendous acting=Allegiant.

Sure, go see it; if you’re lonely and desperate for any kind of entertainment. This movie stinks worse than my butthole.

10 Cloverfield Ln


Overall Score: 89%

Best part of the movie: Unexpected twist after unexpected twist! I had no idea what to expect, you should go into the movie with the same expectations. Let’s just say the whole thing was a mind (bad word).

Worst part of the move: I probably had anxiety the whole time. That is partially the reason for the 89%. I personally hate that feeling. But, the fact that it gave me anxiety is a good indicator that the movie was well made. Some people criticized the *****SPOILER***** alien dog thing, that it was a bit cliche. I say, aliens can never be too cliche.

You’re going to want to see this 100%

The Revenant 

 
Overall score: 92.9%

Best part of the movie: The symbolism was everywhere and made this film a work of art. I love all the camera angles. Leo was perfect of course, his best role yet. 

Worst part of the movie: I cringed a lot, but then again that is also another great part of the movie since it was so believable.

This was an amazing, artistic, powerful, and gut wrenching film. When the credits started to roll the entire theatre was completely silent. If that’s not reason enough to see it I don’t know what else is. I was a little concerned by all the bay-Sayers that felt the need to pick apart the film in the theatre lobby. Which makes me feel the need to say to everyone: Enjoy movies. Let yourself become apart of a different world and get lost in the story. You’ll never enjoy anything in life if you can’t even enjoy 2 hours of a great film.  

Parental advisory (spoilers): Yeah, this is not for sensitive adults, let alone a child. There are bloody war scenes, a breif non-violent rape scene, a bear ripping a human apart scene, male wiener scene, blood, blood and more blood. 

Southpaw

southpaw-gifOverall Score: 95%

Best part of the movie: The whole fu&@$?! thing

Worst part of the movie: The fact that it made me cry 900 times.

This movie got a terrible review on Rotten Tomatoes. Figures. Anyway, this movie touched me. (At least I wish Jake Gyllenhaal would) This showed true human strength through the perils of life. The main character, Billy Hope, exemplified that you can accomplish anything even if you have nothing. I was touched by his paternal love and his humility despite being an important figure in the lime-light. A must see.