Game of Thrones-Dragonstone

Overall score: 45%

Worst parts: Aaaahhhhhh so anti climatic. I waited longer than a YEAR for this! Also, what the hell was Ed Shereen doing in there?! So weird. And he was singing, jut weird X2. I just didn’t get what I needed. Daenerys went home. Who cares. Sam finally became not the most useless person in the world. Who cares. Cersi still sucks. Who cares. John Snow is still the raspy voiced sensible guy. Who cares. Gimme more!!!!!!!

Best parts: **SPOILER**

Arya killing every single Frey there ever was. Heeeeellll yes.

Parental advisory: not for kids under 21

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Who is Rey?


Many have asked for my speculation on who Rey is and theories on her family lineage. I spent a whole 10 minutes contemplating the possibility that she is Luke’s illegitimate child, Ben’s, somehow, grandchild(parents unknown) or a natural phenomenon in the force recreating balance.

Here is my actual theory.

Guys, I just don’t care who she is or where she came from right now. I’m just excited for the dramatic reveal in the movie. One day, all you nerds will get the truth and then you can finally sleep at night. So everyone stop asking me who she is, cause I don’t care and neither should you.

Book of Henry


Overall score: 51%

Best things: Naomi Watts once again plays a frazzled, immature, single mother, and does a pretty good job. 

Worst things: The movie had kind of dumb concept. To make matters worse, the ending made the dumb concept almost pointless because it didn’t matter in the end. It wasn’t a terrible movie but eh. 

Parental advisory: There were a lot of swear words. Child abuse. Plot to murder. Maybe don’t bring your kids. 

It’s SUNDAY!


Guys! I’ve been sitting on my butt all day, painting nails and watching Wayne’s World, and then I thought, man, I sure would like to go to the movies. Don’t you want to go too?! 

Follow my blog, thecriticgirl.com if you’re reading this you’re on it, the FOLLOW IT! Easy! If you follow it, you will be entered to win two movie tickets!! 

SHWING!

The Mummy – Dark Universe


This was not just another Brendon Frazier remake of weird sand creatures. This was something must bigger and much more expansive. The Mummy was a perfect intro to the dark universe stories paving a perfect path to their debuts. 

Overall score: 76%
Best things: great acting. The Mummy was perfectly creepy. There were plenty of comic relief moments that are actually funny. Tom Cruz is SO good. 

Worst things: You’d think this list would be long due to stupid Rotten Tomatoes striking again on their unwarranted bad reviews, but other than it being a tiny cheesy this movie was awesome. 

Parental advisory: intense characters and makeup. Some zombie stuff. I wouldn’t take my 6 year old but I would take some 12 year olds. 

Wonder Woman


I’m baaaaaaaack! Gosh I’ve been a super loser about writing reviews. I forgot my wordpress password and I just got super lazy about resetting it! Anyway, review time.

Overall score: 100%

Best things: ok freaking Wonder Woman is my new movie crush. (Sorry Jake Gyllenhal) Her fights scenes were the best I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There was a certain scene, set in a war setting, won’t give away too much, but I might have shed a tear I was so inspired.

Worst things: Well guys, sorry to burst your bubble but Chris Pine is not Captian America and nor will he ever become Captain America. Soo, don’t wait the entire movie for him to turn into Captain America.

There are no parental advisorys on this movie. I took my 6 year old and she now wants to be a crime fighting super hero, so yea. Take your kids.

The Shallows


Overall score: 32%

Best part of the movie: The shark was an amazing actor!!

Worst part of the movie: Forced dialogue. Yuck! For some reason when Blake Lively said, “is there anything gnarly out there,” it just made it way too awkward to watch her keep saying stuff after that. Less talking more sharks eating people I always say. 

Parental advisory: One F word. Lots of butt cheeks in swimsuits. (Cute butt cheeks though) and gore…obviously